Miles, Mile, Smile

I keep picturing my little man on his first day of school. He’s gladly toting his sister’s backpack from last year (it was Cars – not girly and we could easily black out her name) and his lunch box from last year and I think to myself what a mellow little dude. He’s all grins and excitement, he blows me a kiss, and he’s off doing his thing. He’s my little Buddy. He won’t write an S at the end of his name – says it’s too tricky- so I keep telling him without that S there’s no smiles. Dorky, yes, but it makes him think.

My boy is full of love and snuggles. Sometimes I think that if he could crawl back inside me he would. When he sits on my lap he melts and curves into me.  He’ll say to me sometimes, “I haven’t gotten enough hugs today” and I’ll have to stop what I’m doing  to hug him and when he hugs me back hell ask “did you feel my luz (translation – love)?” and I always do.

 A few months back I was telling the kids about Bugs Bunny. Somehow they’ve never seen that cartoon and I was explaining how smart Bugs was and what a trickster. I also told them about Elmer Fudd and they were practically falling out of their chairs with laughter and asking me to repeat over and over: “I’ll get that waskily wabbit” and then I realized … Buddy sounds a lot like Elmer Fudd. Awiss (Little Miss) let’s go pway etc. and I realized that we better get cracking on his speech. So I’m trying to articulate more and I have him look at my mouth to see how I pronounce things and have him practice. And when I do these things he shuts his mouth and turns away and says, “I’ll learn it my own way”.  And then I call him a stubborn little monkey and try again the next day.

Four-year-old boys are just super cute. He’s been playing dress up with Little Miss and the little neighbor girl. He has quite the sense of style and totally knows how to man up a dress with a pirate hook or some carefully placed knight pants. He’ll play kitchen with Little Miss and all his dishes will be lined up on a car carrier truck to be delivered to doll baby (a favorite doll that has been around since pre-Buddy) who has suddenly become a him. He’ll play Polly Pocket with Little Miss but throw in some Luke Skywalker. He’s completely comfortable in his own skin and will spin and jump and twist and say, “Mom, yook what I can do! Was that cool?”

The other day we were getting ready for bed. One of the chores he has to do is pick out his clothes for the next day. When I asked him if he did that he answered, “yes, your highness” and ran giggling. Two night ago I was helping him put his PJ’s on. He raised his hands shoulder level and started pushing them up. He said, “this is called raise the roof, I learned it at school”. There’s something about your last child. That child that you know there will be no more after (unless, of course, there’s a major oops)… this is the child that climbed  into my heart in a very special way and for me at least, has to a certain extent been my perpetual baby. I watch him get bigger and learn things away from me (seriously, I’m totally cool  with being called your highness and learning raise the roof at school, that’s way better than calculus!) and I realize that my baby is no more. And I’m sad and happy all at once. I want my boy to become a man who is sweet, caring, strong, interesting, intelligent and just an all around good person. And I watch this little guy navigate the world with his slurred speech and rough and tumble ways and I find such joy in his interpretation. He’s growing up.

But… on any given afternoon the house can grow quiet and I’ll go looking for my boy and he’ll be fast asleep in his bed, his thumb hanging from his mouth, that sweet, sweaty, sleepy boy smell around him and I can do no more than smile and feel my heart swell.


One response to this post.

  1. Posted by amanda on August 19, 2010 at 1:43 am

    Four year old boys rock, don’t they? And are just so endearing…Conor boy is such a love – I bet if he and Mile(s) met, they would hit it off right away! 🙂 Glad to see you are settling in!


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